Touching From A Distance
by X-valmont-X
Summary: Sometimes, no matter how wrong it is, there's only certain people you can rely on to make you feel real again. For Yazoo, tonight, it is Loz.


**helloooo everyone! (anyone?) i apologise for my long absence, this story was supposed to be out looong before now, however i had a brief stint in hospital, everything is ok now, its summer...so you shall be hearing from me quite a lot. **

**this one is angsty...i'm not as pleased with it as was with 'i'll be your mirror', but i still think it's ok. **

**also i shall begin replying to reviews again, as i lost track while i was ill. so if you have reviewed either of my stories and you didn't recieve a reply i apologise sincerely x x x x and if you review again, you shall get an extra nice reply :P**

**so please do let me know if you like it, and also if you have any ideas for anything new you want me to write. Valmont x x x x x **

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**Touching from a distance**

I've never been very good at sleeping. It's not getting to sleep that's the problem, just the staying asleep. Night-time is a lonely time for me. The people around me sleep well, when they need sleep that is. People, beings, like us, don't need sleep as often as people not built like us, this is maybe our advantage over others, for me however, it was a slight curse.

My eyes opened, for what could have been the fifth time in the night, for some reason I knew it was very early morning. I have always been able to tell, I don't know how. I knew, when my eye-lids cracked even just a bit open, that I would not be sleeping anymore for at least the rest of the night, definitely not through the day, and maybe a small chance of sleep the following night.

The room was dark, but somehow still illuminated, probably from the lights of the world outside that seemed to shine eternally. It was sad to me that everything was bright, moving, almost noisy in its near silence, but it wasn't really alive. None of it was. Including me. I didn't feel alive anyway.

Over the past few months, the world had become a difficult place for me. I had been feeling somewhat empty, or should I say, more empty than normal.

I pulled the bed sheets off of me, my legs being immediately bathed in cool air. But not cold. It didn't get cold here. That strange light that I had noticed earlier had turned my skin an even lighter white. It was nice to be naked. To be out of my leathers. I found them suffocating. But they were what Kadaj wanted, and they were what Kadaj got. My Kadaj, the one I was hopelessly in love with.

Of course I knew it was wrong. But I didn't care, with a groups of people like us, morals didn't mean much. Therefore, being in love with my brother was not anything that would have me frowned upon. I didn't not however, share it with everyone I met.

I got out of bed, my lack of clothes not bothering me, as I walked through the hotel room, with my two twins asleep in it. Being naked in front of other people was something that was difficult for me, but I reasoned they would sleep through anything I might do. I wandered towards the open balcony doors. Through which a slight breeze was blowing, caressing my skin. It made me shudder. Our room was very high up, towering above most of the other buildings around us, and the unusual hour of the morning made it quite sure I wouldn't get seen.

I, Yazoo, the girlish, shy, self conscious one of the triplets, was in turmoil, and I didn't know why. On my way out onto the balcony, I snatched a light throw from a chair in the living area of our suite. This was a rather high class hotel compared to what we were used to. But the luxury of an expensive bed couldn't still my erratic thoughts.

Wrapping myself up in the throw, I settled into a chair that looked out over the city, and prepared for a long morning.

A million and one things were whirring in my brain. Repeating themselves over and over. Kadaj-mother-hate-love-Kadaj-love-love Kadaj-Loz-mother-Sephiroth.

I turned them al over and over in my mind. And still none of them answered any questions that I was still struggling to find.

I came over all weak, feeling more and more vulnerable by the second. I was glad for my isolation, but also at the same time. I cursed it. I knew deep down that I needed someone here with me, to hold me while I turned into a shivering wreck. But my pride got in the way of me waking my brothers.

People daily, when we were out, looking for mother, didn't see this side of me. Most people wouldn't believe it existed, normally, I was ruthless, proud, and confident. Now, in the shadows of a night that wasn't truly dark, I was someone else completely.

I didn't know then, that he could tell.

There is much belief in the idea that siblings, mainly twins or triplets, can tell when one another is in trouble, pain or upset. We all knew this was true. As soon as I realized how alone I was, sat up on that balcony, looking out at the living dead of a landscape, his eyes must have opened. And he must have known.

This connection between us had obviously been felt before, but on nights like this, it was when we realized how real it was.

My eyes were boring through the inky sky, when I heard him walk out to join me. I didn't need to turn around to see who it was, I knew. I knew. His tread was different from Kadaj's. heavier. In some ways, Loz was the most human of all of us.

There was an empty chair beside me, and he took it. Not saying a word. I didn't turn to look at him, and I couldn't feel his eyes on me either. He just sat. his mere presence reminding me of the strange kind of life inside of me.

With loz I didn't get the same kind of feeling as I did with Kadaj. I didn't know why. But both had profound effects on me. Both positive and negative.

But, he was there with me. Truly with me. I knew then what was wrong with me. I was weary. The life we lead was tiring, it still is. And I needed something or someone to breathe some life into me.

Would Kadaj do that?

could Loz?

Tearing my eyes away from nothing, I turned to look at him. His gaze moved to meet mine quicker than I expected. There were no words, he just opened his arms. At times like these, we didn't talk, words would have made it real, and in our real world, we didn't do things like this.

I rose from my chair, wrapped in the throw, and at this point I realized that loz wasn't wearing anything. I was glad for the muted light of the night because I turned a light shade of pink. But I needed him. And I wouldn't let my shyness stop me. I wrapped the blanket tighter around myself, and settled down on his lap, I leant into him, not having any arms free, this was my way of hugging him. As soon as I felt his arms encasing me, I knew I was safe, and that he was going to make me feel better.

My stomach flipped in anticipation.

I felt his hands begin to run over my hair, everyone loves my hair. His silence was comforting, as was his masculine frame. As hard as I tried, I never had the capacity to be manly. Which was why I loved to touch a manly body. Sadly it reminded me of what I didn't have, but on the plus side, it spoke to me of one of my favourite things. perfection. And loz had the natural ability to be overtly masculine, yet have the feminine quality that we were all gifted with, me more than the others. Loz was beautiful. He wasn't Kadaj, no one could ever compare to him. It was an unspoken truth. And we both knew it.

But then, I had loz. He leant down and kissed my forehead, his lips deceivingly soft. I turned upwards to look at him, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, I smiled. Confidently, he leant down, and kissed my lips.

It always started this way.

And it always developed like clockwork. But I think it added stability to our rocky lives.

Appearances were deceiving, and although loz was all man in many ways, and although he could crush people without even blinking, he was gentle, warm, and he was loving.

His lips were warm, it was like I could feel the pale pink of their colour, the softness of the skin was ethereal. Unlike us, the kiss was innocent. Our innocence was lost when we received the dreams. Out of all of us, Kadaj's fall from grace was the most tragic. He fell alone.

We fell together.

It was our connection, one that separated us from our brother because it was the only bond he didn't share with us.

I was falling now. All I wanted was to be closer to him, the hardness of his body, the shapely muscles of his torso, arms, legs, thighs. I wanted to climb inside him and hide until the world wasn't as scary. But I could not. There was no room for being timid in our lives, and I had to lose my timidity, make the first drastic move of the evening, let him know how much I needed him.

I carefully untangled my hand from the throw, feeling shocked by the cold wind that met my skin, and slowly moved to run my fingers along his jaw. He smiled, leaning into my palm. Its his way of telling me what I need to know.

My hand moved to his hair, soft and ruffled from his sleep. He likes to have his hair played with, he closed his eyes, sighing loudly. When his eyes slowly opened, it was like there was a visible change in them. My toying with him had let him know what I wanted.

His lips were on mine again, this time more forcefully, soon I felt the heat of his tongue, begging for entrance, of course I was more than happy to oblige. As soon as I felt the warmth of it snaking in, I felt immediately more weak than I ever had before.

I wanted to be overpowered, to be put in my place, but at the same time reminded of how important I was to someone. Loz would be the one to do that. He always would be.

He pulled the throw from my shoulders, so it dropped down and pooled around my hips, I could feel his eyes burning into my flesh, scrutinizing. It made me uncomfortable, so much so that I couldn't move, like a rabbit caught in headlights I was stuck. But he liked what he saw, I could tell by his expression, and by the heightening of his breathing. His chest was heaving and sighing more and more by the second, and this was what I loved with loz, I knew that he really wanted me. Who knows if he loved me in the slightest, but it didn't matter to me then, all that mattered was that he made me his, and that I knew it.

His hands were on me, feeling my skin, it felt like light sandpaper, even his skin was manly. I buried my head in his neck, sighing, I knew what was coming, and I deserved it. Like clockwork I felt the heat of his breath on my neck, coming in short gusts, washing over me like waves. The calm before the storm. His tongue was on me then, lathing, trying to taste every millimetre of my skin, and even though I was expecting it, I couldn't help but jump when I felt his teeth clamp down on me, with such viciousness, that I felt the tears well in my eyes. I let out a moan, a pathetic whimper that made me feel embarrassed. But it was ok, it was ok with loz. His teeth were still digging into me. I felt him pull it outwards, I would have a dark pulsing bruise there in the morning, if there wasn't one there already. I knew though, that I would be proud to be marked by him. But I wanted more.

"please….l…loz……do it hard-harder. I n-need to bleed."

He growled though his teeth and bit down harder, my hands gripped harder, clawing and scratching their way around his body. I was getting what I wanted, what I deserved and it was amazing. I didn't feel it when he finally drew blood, but I knew it by the groan he let loose almost like he was completely feral. That groan, it wasn't human. I gritted my teeth, grinding layers of enamel off of them, trying to keep myself quiet. Don't wake Kadaj. _Don't wake Kadaj._

I felt his teeth dislodge from me, I let out a deep sigh of pain, pleasure and relief, it came right from the bottom of my lungs. It was near silent, but I knew loz felt It, I felt him smiling against my skin, enjoying looking at what he had done. In some strange way I loved being marked by him, to be bitten, owned.

He began to lap at it, this burning, raging and bleeding sore on me. I could feel the blood pumping to it. Harder. Faster. As much as it could.

There was a slight breeze, it felt like a million fingers touching me all at once. Yet it sent a shiver through me, the chill made my nipples harden at once. Loz saw this, and responded by running his hands up and down my torso, lightly over them, I couldn't help but respond by squirming and moaning with my head on his shoulder. It was driving me mad that he wasn't staying long enough in one place, but this was all part of what he wanted to do. My lungs couldn't cope with the small sharp breaths I was allowing myself. His fleeting touches became light scratches, his nails beginning to dig in, slightly deeper with each movement. My breathing became a light whimper. He as making me crack, soon, my whimpering would become louder. _But I cant wake Kadaj. _

I only knew of one way to silence myself. I kissed him again. Deeper and harder than before. Wildly, as was my instinct. It was near on impossible for loz to break the skin he was scratching, for he had no nails, however, he did. The pain increased suddenly, his tongue was in my mouth and in shock I bit it. He moaned, wincing. His touches became lighter again, running up and down my sides. As our lips parted, I went to speak, to apologise, but he silenced me putting his finger to my lips.

He began to run his hand down towards the throw pooled around my hips, his other was toying with my hair. My breath hitched as I realized what he was about to do.

I was already hard, but I was thankfully concealed by the throw. He was reaching to expose me, to allow my hard hot flesh to bask in the cool air of the evening. I tried not to look down at myself, I didn't like to see what I looked like down there, I was slightly embarrassed by my smaller size than my brothers. Nevertheless I knew that I was solid, purple and ready to burst. Then he did it, the cool air was a small relief, but there was the obvious burning of his eyes down onto me. It made me twitch. Looking at him, at his eyes peering down, I could see the desire burning like a torch inside him. He was smiling, the muscles in his arm flexing as he moved to touch me. He ran his coarse index finger along the tip of me, which was already leaking quartz like drops of liquid. My breath shot in me before my brain could catch up, and I gasped loudly. He smiled, catching the pre-cum with his finger, it shone translucently as he raised it to my mouth. I took his finger in without thinking, licking it all off slowly, watching him blush and shift uncomfortably. I could play his game too. I sucked on his finger, rolling my tongue around it, making sure he could feel every inch of my tongue. I sucked my cheeks in so he was completely encased, and I pulled back, releasing him. He was now extremely flushed, not only in the face, but also on his chest and shoulders. I leant forward, and pressed my forehead to his, our eyes were so close that it strangely seemed like he had disappeared and I was in fact just looking at myself in a mirror. A lot of normal human beings would not be able to see as clearly as we could, they would see only a vague blur. But not us, we could see every detail of each other's eyes. We looked down together, looking at me, swollen and straining. He ran his damp finger along my tip again, pressing lightly into my slit. I gasped out loud, groaning. He bought his fingers to wrap around me, and slowly beginning to stroke me. The groans escaping from my mouth were more and more frequent, and he was feeding off of every one. His rhythm was slow and teasing, his touches light, but hard enough to have the desired effect. His ministrations were turning the tip of me an unnatural colour. I scrambled for whatever I could find, and I ended up at his shoulders, his back, and his upper arms. All at once. Nails digging into his flesh, scraping layers of skin off with every movement. I rested my head against his needing the support as it had suddenly become too heavy for my neck to hold up.

With one sudden movement, his grip got tighter and he stroked me harder only once or twice, making me writhe and want to scream, before letting go. Removing his hand completely, and shifting. Explaining to me without using words that he wanted to kiss me. Obviously I gave him what he wanted, thought I was slightly peeved by the loss of friction upon my achingly hard member. My fingernails unhinged themselves from his shoulders, and became fingers again. They trailed down the soft expanse of his muscled chest, brushing over nipples that were already hard from the light breeze slithering over them. He was ticklish, but for some reason, during sex, the touches that would normally make him laugh, instead made him swoon. And I played on that. Wanting to tease him as much as he had me. He had a shorter fuse than me, he couldn't be tortured for as long without snapping. I suppose in a way I was winding him up, so when it came down to it, he'd do me harder, faster, and with the kind of ferocity that I needed.

I never got this from other people I slept with. The emptiness I was left with after having sex with some unknown man or woman plagued me. I only got proper fulfilment from my brothers. If only they knew it.

I had reached his lower abdomen when he was mewling. I could feel the heat of his hardness though the throw, he was rock hard, like me. And he was near breaking point. Feeling his tongue force his way into my mouth the heat invading me, I responded by kissing him deeper, putting everything of myself into him. He sighed into my mouth, I inhaled the secondary air, tasting him even more. My fingers lazily lifted the throw from his lower waist, exposing him to the night air as much as I. As if magnetically drawn, my hand found its way to his hardness. Just stroking lightly, pulling at his foreskin, lazily rubbing his tip which began to leak pearls. I had done this with him too many times to count, so I knew without having to put my mind to it how he liked it, and how to get him so frustrated he would explode. And that was exactly what I was going to do.

I took one of the pearly drops upon my finger and began to spread it over the reddish tip of him. I could feel his ragged breath sweeping over my shoulder and down my back. His hands found their way to my hair as he began to pull it lightly. His fingers were massaging my scalp, sending shivers down my spine, making me sigh loudly and pause momentarily from driving him mad. I released him, and pulled him to face me using both hands, he knew what this meant. And he nodded. His eyes burning a hole through me. I nodded back, sealing the deal and reassuring him that I wanted what was coming.

The balcony was small, and enclosed my an intricate metal fence-like barrier. I liked things like that, it twisted and turned in an unnatural but beautiful way, it was supposed to look like vines twisting and turning into each other, but along with everything else in our world it had gotten old and rusted.

He pushed me off of his lap, and I only just managed to get to my feet. He stood up after me the throw falling to the floor and exposing him completely. My breath hitched in my throat as I saw him completely bare, basking in the night air. He moved over to me, taking me in his arms and kissing me passionately. His arms were squeezing the breath out of me as he was guiding me to the nearest corner of the balcony, the one that was to the right if you were to walk out of the door. When I reached it, it came to just over my waist and I leant against it. He covered me completely and I felt almost smothered, and just as I was about to begin to panic, he dropped to his knees.

He kissed between my legs where my thighs met, the soft flesh is one of the most sensitive parts of my body. The heat of his lips and the brush of his tongue made my knees weaken. My hands sought to grab the fencing, the only thing that was keeping me upright, his hands move gently to separate my legs, his fingers playing with the skin he had just kissed. As soon as my legs were fully separated he ran his tongue from as far back as he could to the underside of my testicles and up the full breadth of my length.

My knees buckled slightly and I cried out loud, all consideration for other people gone. He slid me into his mouth, a burning heat encasing me and once again I let out a wail. I could already feel the tingle building in the base of my stomach, I couldn't let it happen now. I wanted to climax with him, so I shakily ran my hand though his hair so he looked up at me. I shook my head, and smiling around me he understood. Tightening his grip around me he let me slide out of his mouth. Creating another grip around me with his hand, he stroked me only once, catching his saliva and my unusually large amount of pre-cum. Never taking his eyes away from mine, he moved his hand between my legs again. This time seeking the tight bud that was my entrance. He slicked it with the mixture. He gently prodded with his index finger not waiting for me to stretch before pushing two fingers into me. It hurt so badly that the tears were already flowing. But I knew I needed it. I wanted him to break me.

I needed this intrusion. I needed to feel everything he was doing to me, and I knew he was going to make sure of that. He roughly inserted a third. I cried out, the tears finally making their way down my face. He made up a punishing rhythm. My hands were once again gripping the railings, lags failing me, as I felt him curve his fingers inside me, to reach that secret part of me that always took me over the edge.

With a particularly hard push, he found it. My whole body tensed as the pleasure crawled through every fibre of me. I could only whimper as he ran his fingers over it again and again. The tingle of climax began to build again, and it was clearly visible. I suppose this was why he stopped. He hooked his hands under my knees and bought me to the ground, my legs over his, instinctively I wrapped my arms around him. Bracing myself for the pain, the ache, the pleasure. Which I would be forced to remember for days.

Quicker than normal I felt his silky tip prodding my entrance. Even though I knew it was coming, I still jumped when it happened. He pushed all the way in, in one long sharp thrust. My eyes flew wide open, I was winded. I thought I felt myself tear. But I couldn't be sure. My arms gripped him harder as he clung to the railings, the tight tunnel he was buried in was almost too much for him, and sobbed like a child. We sat like this for a while. Both exercising the control we have over ourselves. There came a time though, when I couldn't hold it any longer, I lifted myself as much as I could and sank back down again. He growled low in his throat. And the monster in him took over. I nodded as he looked at me once more, and then it began.

I took hold of the railings, and he lifted my legs, he pulled out of me quickly and slammed back in, there would be no easy starts. No acclimatising. With loz it was simple brutality from the start. And that was how I wanted it.

He thrusted again and again, harder each time, finding a rhythm. His whole lower body slapping against my buttocks making a loud noise, that coupled with his grunts, and my crying, both from pain, shame and pleasure was making for a noisy affair. But I didn't care about that. He was treating me how I deserved to be treated.

My brother was doing this to me. How wrong that was. But loz was the only person I trusted enough to hurt me with my permission and he knew it. He rested his head on my shoulder. His hands covering mine on the railings, using this as the leverage for his pounding. I felt like I was going to break in two. His member started hitting that deep part inside of me making me scream. The tingle in my stomach had become a burn, and it was building. Every muscle in my body tightened, and it happened. Jets of viscous wetness erupted between us. My screams became louder and then soothed, my head was light, I ached everywhere. And he was still pounding. I didn't really notice when loz came. It was his loud moan that bought me to. That, and the feeling of his wetness filling me, heating me further from the inside.

He began to talk, but a heavy blackness overcame me, and I was gone.

Through all of this I had been somewhat distracted. I became delusional sometimes. Loz set that right by putting me back in my place, as he had just done. During those times I could think of nothing else. Which means even though I am incredibly perceptive, I didn't pick up the fact that we were being watched. That from the door of the hotel room, someone lurked inside. And that they had seen everything. Their blue-green eyes glinting slightly in the moonlight, not blinking. Just seeing.

Touching from a distance.

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